Current:Home > MyHis wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment. -TradeWise
His wife was hit by a falling tree. Along with grief came anger, bewilderment.
View
Date:2025-04-16 10:33:04
Grief affects us all – but not in ways we always consider. People die, yes, but so do pets. We can grieve dreams, jobs, our health, past versions of ourselves. Grief is not linear; it does not come in stages, a common misconception. It's unique to the individual.
After embarking on a series to document different grief journeys, we asked for your input. What kinds of grief had you experienced? Would you be willing to share your story publicly?
With more than 120 responses and counting, here's a look at what some of you shared. You can submit your own story here.
Bill Badgley, 72
"(My wife) Carol was hit by a falling tree as she walked home. She was found by a neighbor. By the time I was notified and could get to the scene, she was in an ambulance but a pool of blood and the downed tree were still there. In the ambulance, the blood was soaking her pillow, but she opened her eyes when I spoke her name. The tree broke ribs and vertebrae and caused a traumatic brain injury. A piece of her skull was removed to allow for swelling of the brain. Carol lived for 11 weeks in the hospital where I went to be with her every day.
The day before she died, she fought to come back a last time and returned my kiss twice, the only time this happened in the 11 weeks. I wrote and delivered Carol’s memorial service. I needed to do it. I focused on four lessons that Carol had taught me, the most important being that love is the miracle. Our grave marker will say as much. Now that she’s gone, the trauma of the event and the hospitalization does not recede. I remain angry and bewildered about how this could happen. How I see nature and life has changed. I am incredibly lost without Carol. I am diminished and no longer whole. I have a small urn with some of her ashes. There are pictures of her on either side. There is a sculpture of a loon, Carol’s favorite bird. There are some shells that we collected together on Sanibel Island, including left and right angel wing shells. I greet Carol every morning. I speak to her before bed. 'I love you. I miss you. Please be with me when you can. Please wait for me.'"
Melissa Monroe, 54
"When a military friend pointed out that the paralyzing guilt I suffered after my 2-year-old daughter Alice died of Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC) was a product of PTSD, I dismissed him. 'I have not been to war! My symptoms do not deserve to be considered PTSD.' I argued. As an acupuncturist specializing in mental health, I was familiar with the signs. Still, I had not recognized them in myself until my friend’s patient insistence led me to consult the checklist. Then I realized he was right.
I was one of the increasing number of bereaved parents who experienced traumatic guilt, which is associated with heightened suicidal ideation. Trauma-related guilt commonly presents with both grief and PTSD but is less widely discussed than other symptoms. It can occur following any type of loss but is particularly predominant among bereaved parents."
In case you missed:My dog died two months ago. Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Brooke Westlake, 42
"I was my grandma Bev's primary caretaker ... she had Alzheimer’s for 10 years … When she died it was just me and her. I was holding her. She took one breathe and left. It was like I watched her soul float away.
Her only child and son, and my biological father died three years later. His death was pretty horrific and heartbreaking. He had struggled with drug and alcohol addiction his entire life.
July of 2022, I helped my stepfather with end of life care. We got five lovely days together before he started the transition. I helped my mom with the process, because she had never been through the death process. And April of this year (2023), my grandpa Don, my father's dad, died. I was able to see him before he passed, but it was also overwhelming to know that was the last time we would see each other. I tried to stay positive the entire time, but broke down crying on and off. It’s been several years of grief stacked up on top of each other. Some days I’m grateful that the people I love are no longer suffering and then other days I just wish they were still here, so I could see them, hug them, laugh with them, cry with them, talk with them. All these wonderful people I have cherished and lost have all one thing in common. We all loved laughing together.
In 2024, I’m getting a very specific tattoo for each of them on their birthdays with their signature, from how they would sign cards or letters to me."
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to reach someone with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They're available 24 hours a day and provide services in multiple languages.
If you'd like to share your thoughts on grief with USA TODAY for possible use in a future story, please take this survey here.
Have you seen?'The Golden Bachelor,' 'Selling Sunset' and grieving on TV
veryGood! (4)
Related
- Sam Taylor
- No. 11 Oregon stays hot and takes out South Carolina in another NCAA Tournament upset
- The Best Maternity Swimsuits That Are Comfy, Cute, and Perfect for Postpartum Life
- Spring brings snow to several northern states after mild winter canceled ski trips, winter festivals
- Gen. Mark Milley's security detail and security clearance revoked, Pentagon says
- 3rd suspect in Kansas City parade shooting charged with murder, prosecutors announce
- Police find Missouri student Riley Strain’s body in Tennessee river; no foul play suspected
- 2024 Masters: Tigers Woods is a massive underdog as golf world closes in on Augusta
- Don't let hackers fool you with a 'scam
- Shania Twain Responds to Lukas Gage Apologizing for Wasting Her Time With Chris Appleton Wedding
Ranking
- San Francisco names street for Associated Press photographer who captured the iconic Iwo Jima photo
- 'We're not a Cinderella': Oakland's Jack Gohlke early March Madness star as Kentucky upset
- Beyoncé’s Rep Appears to Respond After Erykah Badu Criticizes Album Cover
- What is spiritual narcissism? These narcissists are at your church, yoga class and more
- In ‘Nickel Boys,’ striving for a new way to see
- More than 440,000 Starbucks mugs recalled after reports of injuries from overheating and breakage
- 3rd suspect in Kansas City parade shooting charged with murder, prosecutors announce
- Why Craig Conover Says It's Very Probable He and Paige DeSorbo Might Break Up
Recommendation
The Louvre will be renovated and the 'Mona Lisa' will have her own room
Richard Higgins, one of the last remaining survivors of Pearl Harbor attack, dies at 102
Little Rock, Arkansas, airport executive director shot by federal agents dies from injuries
These Chic Bathroom Organizers From Amazon Look Incredibly Luxurious But Are Super Affordable
Selena Gomez engaged to Benny Blanco after 1 year together: 'Forever begins now'
1 person killed, others injured in Kansas apartment building fire
Review: ‘Water for Elephants’ on Broadway is a three-ring circus with zero intrigue
Mauricio Umansky explains split with Kyle Richards, talks Emma Slater rumors: 'No infidelity'